


this isn't even a fix-it fic, it's a primal scream

by pm_lo



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 11.09, Coda, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-05-06 01:28:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5397743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pm_lo/pseuds/pm_lo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a teaspoon's worth of coda to 11.09.</p>
            </blockquote>





	this isn't even a fix-it fic, it's a primal scream

"What."

The word echoes in the empty, empty bunker, flat and almost emotionless. Cas doesn't seem as frantic as Dean expected. Dean is - well, Dean doesn't panic, but he'd definitely be neck-deep in a bottle of Jack right now if he didn't need to keep his head clear. 

Cas, on the other hand, is almost deathly still, except for his eyelids, which are slowly growing closer and closer together. "Sam's in the cage," Dean repeats. "With Lucifer. I only heard bits and pieces from Crowley -"

Cas holds up a hand, cutting him off. "Sam was getting visions from God..." he says slowly, like maybe he thought he'd heard Dean wrong before.

"Except it was Lucifer, yeah," Dean says, impatiently.

"But he thought it was God," Cas says, weirdly... emphatic. "And then he went to the cage, with your help."

"Yeah," Dean says, distracted, eyes on the books he's shifting through on the table.

"And neither of you called me."

Dean looks up at Cas. Opens his mouth. Gapes a little. In a dignified way.

"The only person," Cas is saying, slowly and even more concrete-scrape-y than usual, "who has successfully infiltrated the cage before."

"I -" Dean huffs, indignant. "We - sorry we didn't play on your _ego_ , Cas, but -"

"Where were you when this was happening?"

 _That_ shuts him up. He can't help it; it comes to him unbidden, the sense memory of her lips on his, the warmth of the sun on the back of his neck, that pressure in the ears he gets now when he's not with her, because she makes everything quiet like he's never known. He clears his throat. "I was - following some leads -"

"Leads... on?" Castiel growls.

"On... Amara."

He knows immediately he shouldn't have used her human name; it slithers out between them like something that'd been hiding under a rock. He shifts in place. Cas asks, "And? What did you find?"

"We, uh," Dean says. "We talked."

Cas knows. He can see that Cas knows. His jaw tightens, and his eyes do that - that thing. "I see."

"Jesus, Cas, we don't have time for this," Dean says. "Can we just focus on Sam -"

"Yes," Cas says, and he turns to leave.

"Cas?"

He immediately whirls back to face Dean, coat fluttering. "I will save Sam. You can wait here."

"What the fuck -"

"I have no need for you on this mission," Cas says, turning towards the stairs dismissively.

Dean charges after him. "You think there's a chance in hell -"

When Cas turns back this time, he looks pissy and impatient. "You're compromised."

"I'm not -" 

"It's not your fault, Dean," Castiel says, not looking at him. "Sam went through this with Ruby. You shut me out after I had been under Naomi's control."

"I'm not in _thrall_ ," Dean snaps, "and if you think I'm sitting out Sam's rescue you're outta your mind."

Castiel glares at him, then turns away once more. "I can't trust you," he says.

Dean reaches out and grabs Cas's arm, pulls him to a halt, doesn't think before he speaks. "Is that really why?"

Now _this_ , this is way beyond a glare; he doesn't think he's been this close to getting smote since the early days. Cas's muscle flexes under his hand, which is kind of hilarious in how little it has to do with how easily he could melt Dean's eyeballs out given the right provocation, and Dean can almost hear his teeth grinding as he says, deadly quiet: "Let. Go."

He does. The silence is awful. His skin feels like burning, and his heart is racing, images of Sam in that cage on the backs of his eyes and a sickly knot in his stomach. "She said we're destined to be together, Cas," he says, quiet. He feels hollow. "That it has to happen. No resistance."

Cas turns away from him. Storms up the stairs in a rattle of metal on stone. "I've heard that before."


End file.
